you leave a horrible taste in my mouth and an unsettled feeling in my gut. all this clicking around and picking apart of events that happened is making me feel like a mad man. The more i fuss the bigger the mess and I'm starting to realize it's better left undone. The frog that swam and swam and found himself on a lump of butter didn't tell you that in the end he died of cardiac arrest. His heart beat right out of chest and he swam in vain and died just the same. I'm not cleaning up the mess for some lucky next on your list and I'm not going to sit here and feel like shit. This story has no end .. no version to model... a cultural tale of unstructured suffering. It's all in vain and there's no humbleness in the pain. You don't exist anymore than my future does.
